Please, let me fuck your mom
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
