So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
