Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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