Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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