we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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