I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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