thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
