i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
