somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
