Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
