Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize