I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
