Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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