Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
