Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
