fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
