I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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