And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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