i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she smelled like a LAN party
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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