She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
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At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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