Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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