The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
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i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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