...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
