problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
