she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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