So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
