I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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