I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
