I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
