Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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