I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
too bad you live with your parents still
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
