Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
