Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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