I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
