No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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