chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize