how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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