I hate all girls vehemently.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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