Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
