Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Panties = found
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
