Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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