she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize