ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
