That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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