Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
