Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
