Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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