I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize