Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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