My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
