when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
