dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
i now understand why vodka
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
