why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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