loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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