i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I believe in your delicious
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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