Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
this just has baby written all over it
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
