Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
