there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
