just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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