On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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