i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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