Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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