hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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