So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
